To my discouraged writer friend
I don’t blame you for feeling down – rejection stinks. You’ve worked so hard on your novel; you love your characters so much, you know it’s better than some of the trash you’ve seen on the shelves… so why hasn’t anyone published it?
The truth is, I don’t know the answer.
It might be that it’s brilliant, and hasn’t found the right publisher yet.
It might be that it’s a work you had to write as part of your writing apprenticeship, and although it’s helped you grow in your craft, and brought you joy in its creation as well as despair in its rejection, it is in some way too personally yours for a publisher to risk investing in.
It may be that you will never know which.
So while you wonder, the choices are:
1) Give up; take up sky diving or brain surgery instead. Or, more seriously - take a holiday from writing, refresh yourself and then make your decisions.
2) Pour every atom of your energy into having this work published. Some people do this, and it works. Others do it, and it comes close to destroying them. You need to decide whether doing so will move you forward or stunt your growth.
But this is my preference:
3) Recognise, acknowledge and honour your legitimate grief for your hopes for this creation.
Meditate, do EFT tapping, talk it out, exercise it out… whatever works for you.
When you've dealt with it, you'll be able to put the loved work aside, and start a new one. Ideas are infinite. You’re a writer: you will find more. You’re a human: your love will grow to accommodate your new story and characters. Like any new relationship, you need to let go of the old love and throw everything you have into the new one.
In six months, in a year, in twenty, have another look at your first love. Maybe the time will be right for it – you’ll dust it off and someone will leap at it. Maybe you can use the setting and characters in another story. The worst-case scenario is that it will show you how you’ve grown.
And while you're deciding, don't forget that nearly all of us whom you see as successful have been through this, and still go through it in varying degrees. Sometimes all we can tell ourselves is the mantra: it's never wasted.